Mood:  spacey

Ok so I remember my junior year in high school I had decided that I knew what I wanted to do with my life, I wanted to go to Africa as soon as I could get there and I wanted to help the children, teaching, adopting, giving all that I could possibly give to them, all of my life devoted to doing Gods work and helping them.   I had an opportunity to go after graduation with a company named YWAM.  I would be gone for 6 months and then be in Africa for a month.  I was so excited to do that and the only probablem was that I had to tell my parents... so one day my dad and I were outside working on the garden putting mulch down and he started asking me questions of what I wanted to do with my life, so I told him... I told him all my plans of Africa and YWAM.  He got so upset and said that my idea was ridiculous and that I needed to go to college and get a degree, he made me so upset and feel so guilty that I dropped the idea and went to college... if I could change that decision I would.   That decision changed my life completely.  I went to college and yet still have to finish it.  I hate school and everything that comes with it. 

I understand that I should never go into the land of what if's but sometimes you need to, its a type of therapy to get over something that you really wanted and maybe even figure a way out to have that again...  To this day that is still my dream, if I dont change something in my life then that dream wont ever be lived out.  Its amazing because I still believe that this is my dream, I literally dream of doin this, of going to Africa and helping the children, I just need to figure out how to make this happen. 

So, if anyone can help me, the gesture and help out be completely and irrevicably appreciated.